Life's Seasons Speaks

I'm Having A Yard Sale In My Head

May 18, 2022 Tina Episode 58
Life's Seasons Speaks
I'm Having A Yard Sale In My Head
Show Notes Transcript

Life's Seasons is having a yard sale fundraiser.  We've been decluttering our offices and our homes to donate items to the sale.  What we are ending up with is such clean, fresh feeling spaces where we have removed old items of ours. 

So I got wondering... could we do the same with our schedules, our routines, our thoughts even?  Is it possible to declutter things we think about and things we plan, screen time, even the foods we eat?  How do you do that?  What are the questions to ask ourselves to sort through these things?

Join today and listen in to a conversation about sorting for a garage sale, and how that can relate to sorting through things we even think about... It's like having a yard sale in your head!


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We are preparing for our Indoor Yard Sale Fundraiser, to raise money for our non-profit charity counselling agency, Life’s Seasons.  And we are doing this so we can keep offering our services on a sliding scale, according to people’s affordability… and still pay our bills and remain as a place to go, no matter your finances.

My mom’s dream was that no one would be turned away from receiving care and support, due to financial reasons.  People deserve to be cared… no matter what… because everyone matters.

Our yard sale is this month, on May 28… so come find yourself some treasures if you live in our area.  805 Christina St., N., Point Edward ON.

But I also mention this because it ties into what I’m talking about today.  As we have been pulling together items for our garage sale, many of us our decluttering our homes.  And it feels great.  It feels so good to feel like I have more space.  More clean and fresh spaces within my home.  To either enjoy as fresh and clean and free of extra, un-needed clutter – or to make room for new and exciting items that I am now ready for.

And as I myself have been having this experience, I’ve been thinking… if it feels this good to clean my physical space, is this the experience I have when I clean my mental state – when I declutter my mind from what is no longer serving me.

Huh.  Let’s look a little closer at what that is all about.  I think it’s worth the peek.

First, there are certain questions we a told to ask ourselves when decluttering.  We are to look at the object in question of keeping or getting rid of, and ask ourselves these questions…

1.     Do I love it? ...

2.     Do I use it? ...

3.     Do I need it?...

4.     Do I want this item in my life going forward? ...

5.     Do I have another one of these? ...

6.     Do I have something else that could serve the same purpose? ...

7.     Is this something I could borrow from someone instead? ...

8.     Would I buy this item again? ...

9.     Did I even remember I owned this?

Have you heard these questions before?  Have you used them?

No, you can’t ask these while looking over at your husband eating a bag of chips, watching the football game.  And I say that a little tongue in cheek… because I would be the one in our home with a bag of chips watching the football game, but still, the same theory applies.  This is not for relationships… or is it on some level?

Is it for our day timers?  Our schedule of everything we have planned for the week.  If we are overwhelmed with our plans, is there a way to look at our calendar and breakdown every appointment and ask – with this plan, do I love it?  Do I need it?  Will it affect me going forward if I cancel it?  Would I plan this again if it wasn’t planned now?  Am I looking forward to this?

What about food?  Do I love it?  Do I need it?  Is it good for me?  Will it benefit me to eat it? Or to not eat it?  

What about decluttering screen time?  Either with what you give focus to, or the amount of time spent focusing there.

Could there be a real fresh, clean feeling that comes from having more time?  More quality time that isn’t left over after clutter but set aside time that you de-cluttered around to get specifically.

Is it possible that by saying goodbye, and ridding myself of certain things, I don’t just end of having emptiness, but quality space?

Can this work the same in the brain?

How many thoughts a day do you think you have?  Studies suggest it is more than 6000.

That’s a lot.  It actually feels overwhelming.  And you know that many are negative.  Many are decisions that come with pressure.  And still, lots are repetitive, intrusive thoughts.  And we have a whole episode on intrusive thoughts.  I think it’s called “Intrusive Thoughts – The Repeat Offenders”.  

Now when you start looking at all the thoughts you have in a day, do you think there is any way to declutter there?  Because for one, that’s a lot… and two, many aren’t beneficial or needed!

But you can’t exactly take 6000 thoughts and hold them one by one asking yourself a series of questions about loving them or needing them in your life.  That’s just out of the question.  That’s too big a task!

But then, I thought about our garage sale again.  Yep, my thoughts are dizzying to try and follow logically.

But here is what I got thinking about in this… We are setting up and getting ready for it ahead of time in order to be ready and organized.  And one of the ways we are doing this, is to have different tables and different areas for things that belong together.

Like books.  One table will be for books.  There are different kinds of books that will be sold.  But they can all go on the same table.  Within the books we are going through though… as we set them out and determine the value of them and the price, we will ask for them… we also know that some are outdated and no longer hold the same truths compared to what we know about things now.  They no longer hold value.  Not us to keep, but also, not for us to pass on and share with others as valuable, relevant information for today.  So, we will discard it altogether and not even have it be for sale.

What if we could determine different tables if you will, for the thoughts that pass through our minds each day.  What if we could declutter by better organizing them?  What if we had tables for them.

A thought comes through, and we think “oh ya, I’ve got to reply to that email by the end of the day”.  Great, that goes on the “important for today table”.

Next thought – “my kid needs 3 dozen cookies for her school bake sale at the beginning of June”.  Important thought… but not for today.  Could we have a table for “important, but not today”?

Another thought says, “I have nothing to wear”.  Well, lets do some sorting with this thought.  Do you mean to the wedding you are going to in July?  Cause we can say that’s important but not for today.  We have a table for that.  Or are you needing to leave for work in a few minutes and you’re standing at your closet in a towel.  Cause that needs to be addressed today.  And right now.  Don’t even put it on a table.  Hold it and say this is to deal with right now.  I can plan on looking at clothes online tonight to order, I can maybe go shopping this weekend, or maybe I’m just overwhelmed with what I have to do today and taking it out on my wardrobe.  Either way, right now, I have to find something.  

And yet another thought could come that says, “I’m worried about my partner cheating on me”.  And that’s not a thought to throw out.  We can have a table for that.  That table is simply labelled, “I don’t know where this goes yet”.  

This is going to be a table that you visit when you have the time to focus on these thoughts.  Not while you have nothing to wear and not while you are replying to that email.  Maybe you need to do this alone or with a friend or even with a counsellor.  It is an important thought.  But it’s not a willy nilly throw on a table.  It needs some further sorting.  It needs more questions…

Do I have a reason to think this?

Is there anything specific giving me this thought?  Signs of cheating, my own fear, insecurity, shady behavior in my partner?

Is something else going on in life that has me thinking this is a possibility?  New work schedule, new people in our or their life?


You’re trying to see if this is a legit thought or not.  This is the sorting.  Again, when you have the time and mindset to do it well.  It’s again not while busy with something else needing good focus and attention.  It’s also not right after watching a movie that included this scenario.  Time and a clear mind is when to sort.


But if there is no legit reason to have this thought, then you discard it.  Don’t even put it for sale.  There is no value in it to offer to someone else.  We aren’t going to try and sell this to someone.  If you come to find the thought is of no value, then it is now outdated and only good for the garbage.


But here comes another thought.  “I’m worried about child’s future”.  They really struggle making friends and I’m afraid they won’t have a good peer group as they keep growing”.


Well, let’s sort this.  Important?  Yep.  Today?  Right now?  Depends on your moment.  Do you have the time to think about this right now?  


Whether you do or you do not have the time for right now, this won’t be something to fix as soon as you do.  So many we need a table that says “important, but missing parts”.


You know how you can buy things, but the batteries are not included?  Or it’s a game system but it doesn’t come with any games? It’s kinda like that.  It’s saying this is of value.  But it’s not complete as it is.


Because this is a thought that is legit.  It deserves time and attention.  But thinking about it won’t fix it.  It will need more parts.  Maybe a group that helps with social skills, or activities about making friends.  Or a meeting with a teacher for some perspective.  Chats with your child about their needs and how you can help.


There are more parts needed for this thought… but knowing that and putting it on the right table declutters so much anxiety and worry for your child.


Decluttering your thoughts frees up so much space, anxiety, fears, and worries.

It gives you organization and fresh space to enjoy, or room for new and exciting thoughts, goals, and plans.


Now, how many thoughts do you have regarding other people’s opinions?  We have a whole episode on that one… other people’s opinions.  We said that it’s not that they don’t matter.  It’s not that they should or shouldn’t matter.  It’s more about WHO matters to you.  Their opinions will hold more water.


That needs to be a table itself.  Because you will always have thoughts pop up regarding what you think someone thinks about you.  Sort them.  Does that person matter to you?  Put it on that table to consider their opinion.  They don’t matter?  You don’t even know them?  No relationship at all?  No benefit in considering their opinion?  Don’t sort any further.  There is no value here.  Dumpster.


Here something to say with being consumed with someone’s else’s opinion… everyone who you are concerned about and how they think of you, they are concerned with someone else’s opinion and what they think of them, and then they are and so on.


This is a huge part of social media.  Just knowing what other’s opinions are… because they so nicely share them on EVERY topic, so you don’t have to guess…

And when your opinions don’t line, that is often where the divides begin.  OR, the shamed into silence.


But this is a big reason why decluttering our screen time can have us feeling fresher and cleaner and more organized, because besides many other reasons, we are not forced to deal with everyone’s opinions and how they do or do not align with ours.


When you can sort and declutter other people’s opinions, and your fears, worries, stresses, and even learn to put off for another day what is not for today…


What you have left is YOU.


Your opinions.  Your focuses for that moment, that day.  Your plans, your schedule.  

Your needs.  Your desires,


And what you have now is space.  Fresh clean space.  To relax in more, and enjoy.


To make plans and dreams.

To be creative again.  To be brave and take chances you were always scared to take.


I don’t know where you live or where you are listening from… but if it’s in the area, I hope you stop in at our garage sale on May 28.  Find some treasures.  Say hello.


You’ll see many of us in name tags and you’ll be able to connect some voices you’ve heard here with the person behind them.  Michelle will be there.  Bob ill be.  Jenny will be there with her kiddos!  And my brother Chris will be there too barbequing.  Stop by and give him a hard time over your hamburger.  Then smile and say Tina sent you.  He’ll love it!  Trust me.  Just do it!


Maybe you’ll wander around and look at our tables and think about what your tables are labelled.  


Maybe you’ll have been able to do some decluttering by then and you’ll have fresh clean new space for something you’ll find at our sale.


Either way, would love to see you.  If you don’t live around here, send a message… would love to hear from you.  Genuinely care that you are living a life you enjoy.


Take care guys.  Always a pleasure to share with you.  Until next time, this is good-bye for now and we’ll speak again soon.