Wounds to Weapons

Wounds to Weapons

Your story is like no one else's... And someone, someday will need your exact story to give them the hope and encouragement they need and deserve.  That's what makes your story a testimony.

When we find healing, and then turn around and use our experiences to help guide someone through their experiences, we give our past a purpose.  We make it pay us back for what it tried to steal from us.  We turn our Wounds into Weapons and use them to help fight another's battle.

Tune into today's powerful message and see what this is all about... AND what exciting changes are coming to Life's Seasons Speaks.

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Transcript

You know, I want to think that I’m good at what I do.  I want to think I’m a good mama, and a good wife, and a good counsellor.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have room for growth.  Oh boy!  I have room for growth.  But that’s healthy.  That’s critical thinking.  We should always be aware that we need to keep learning and keep evolving in who we are, and what we know, and what we think, and how we behave.

But in the moment, this moment, based on what I know right now, I want to believe that I’m pretty good in my roles.  If I’m being honest though, that’s not a result of just reading a lot of books, taking classes, and soaking up all the formal learning I can get my hands on.

Much of what I’m good at is directly related to what I’ve been through. Good and bad.

And it’s not being grateful for the bad times.  It’s just saying I’m not going to let them be in vain.  Since I went through it, well, on this side of it all I’m going to give it a purpose.

For whatever part of me that thought lost power in certain circumstances… I’m going to take my power back.

I’m going to turn my WOUNDS into WEAPONS.

Wounds into weapons… that kinda sounds like I’m going to take all the hurt within me and let it fester into bitterness, and then make everyone around me pay for what I’ve been through.

NO!

That’s not what I’m saying at all.  

Look, if we could figure out and wrap our heads around the fact that we aren’t out here fighting each other.  We are out here fighting with what triggers us.  And when it’s something within someone else, we think we are then fighting them.  But it’s still what is within them that reminds us of our hurts.  It’s not them personally.  It’s what they represent when they are around us and we get hurt again.

When we can look at our hurts and be intentional about letting ourselves heal from them, that turns our wounds into weapons to fight our triggers.  It also sets us up to fight on behalf of those still trying to heal.

Our old experiences and what wounded us in the first place, paired with our healing… well, that becomes our testimony.

I’m not going to be ashamed of my past difficult circumstances, I’m going to use them as a testimony.  And I am going to wield my testimony against what tries to hurt me now, as well as what is attacking other people now.

How many times in our episodes have we said that we all have a story to tell?  Everyone.  And our stories matter.  Our stories are not just to be told for our own release and freedom.  Nothing compares to owning our stories and telling them as victories.  Nothing.

But when we do that, we are bearing testimony to the fact that victory is possible.

It breeds hope in people hearing them.  Especially those who can relate personally to your story.

I know there are a lot of really pretty influencers out there.  I know there are some incredible athletes and very talented musicians etc.

But what they can do for people will never compare to the influence you can have in someone’s life when you share your testimony – your hardships, your perseverance, and your victory.

You can have a perfect body, but I will not be moved by your perfection.  I don’t care what you have to offer me, until I know you’ve been through it and come out the other side.

I don’t think anyone has an easy life.  It’s been a struggle somewhere.  AND, you don’t owe people your story.  But when I personally need to be encouraged, lifted up, and motivated to keep going… someone who isn’t willing to share what they’ve conquered, just isn’t for me.  I cannot relate to perfection.  

I think I can say that I’m doing pretty good in my roles, and in who I am because I’m honest with myself about where I’ve been and what I’ve come through.  And I am healed enough to know there is no shame in admitting any part of the journey that was a real struggle.

Those old wounds are weapons now.

I share stories because I want to fight against what the people I love are being hurt by now.  The people I care about, the people I meet, the people I encounter – I want them to know that what they are going through does not have to destroy them.  And I know this because it didn’t destroy me.

There is a reason I can give hope to some, more than others might be able to.  Cause I know firsthand about the experiences that are attacking them.

Self-harm?  Ya, I cut for over 20 years when I was younger.  Divorce?  Been there.  Grief?  More than my fair share. Borderline personality disorder? You betcha!  Anxiety?  Bouts of depression? 

Yes.  I see you.  I know those hurts.  I know those wounds.

But let me be a voice today that can tell you with certainty… You can survive the pain of all those things.  

That’s my testimony.  That’s taking the stand and testifying as a witness to all those areas and saying you can feel those things, experience those things, be diagnosed by those things… and still make it.  You can have all that in your testimony… AND have a good life.

And sure, there are other experiences to add to that list.  And more will come as I keep living in this world day to day.  But I will only ever have just my list.

It’s so important that more and more of us allow our wounds to heal so there are more diverse testimonies to share.  There are more experiences to fight on behalf of those who are still being wounded and can’t see how they could ever make it out of that experience.

You have a story within you that someone will need to hear as soon as you are ready to share it.  And it will be the one they needed for hope.  No one else has a story quite like yours.  No one else can help them like you can.

Some people can’t see any more hope, according to what’s in their line of sight.  But when you share your testimony and bear witness to the fact that you shoulda been dead, you shoulda been locked up, you shoulda lost your mind in what you’ve been through.  

But you are here.  Right here.  In front of them.  WITH them, fighting on their behalf with what you now know, after going through, surviving and healing.

Your wounds are now their weapons… against what is attacking them.

Can you think of a greater gift to give someone than your story, your true story of survival.

Because we won’t just be saving their lives, we will be giving them their life back and helping their wounds to heal, because someone somewhere is going to need their exact story – ours won’t do for the next person just the same as theirs will.

We unleash our stories for healing, and we see it catch fire.  Your testimony is going to break the chains off of someone who can break the chains off of someone who can break the chains off of someone.

If shame or anything else that’s false can keep you silent, your liberation is not the only liberation at risk.

Is it time for you to move into a place of being established, as healed, with wounds that can be weaponized against all that aims to take out the people you care about?

In a world that aims to tell you that you aren’t enough, I hope you can grasp the fact that who you are, but also who you’ve been, is one of the most powerful possessions you’ll ever have.

I can’t tell you how many people I meet that have been given the diagnoses of borderline personality disorder and they are now giving up on all their hopes and dreams.

Can’t be a good parent now, can’t go to school or finish school, can’t have a decent relationship.

There is so much power sitting across from them and saying, “baby, someone lied to you”.

I am a good mom, good wife, and a professional in the field of mental health.

It’s hard work.  It’s a journey and a half.  But it’s not what stops you from having what you want.  We can still go after all your dreams.

I bear witness to that.  And I’m going to take that diagnoses which was a wound for me at one time, and I’m going to wield it at all that tells you that you can’t have what you want.

Yes you can.  I can prove it.  I did it.  I want to walk this with you now and tell you and show you how.

I’m just crazy enough to believe that all the suffering I have been through, owes me.  It owes me and when I share any part of my testimony and it helps anyone who hears it, I’m collecting.

I’m giving what tried to destroy me, a chance to make it up to me.  I refuse to think I went through all that and made it out alive on the other side, all for nothing.

I’m not grateful for it.  But I’m not letting it be in vain now.  I’m gonna put it to work and give it a purpose.  Cause ya, it owes me.

When I was in the process of dealing with it all and healing from it, I learned to lay it all down.  To not carry it all in the way that I had been.  It was too much and too heavy and I had to lay it all down.

But now, in a new place, having come out of the hell of it all, I pick it back up again.  But not to wear.  Again, to wield like a sword, protecting everyone threatened by the very same thing.

Like the people I meet are in court, accused of being too weak to survive, and I get to take the stand as an expert witness, testifying that the accuser can be defeated, I know, because I’ve done it.

You know what I’m saying?  Like what once used to keep me up all night, consumed with worry, got me going to bed early cause I worked hard all day, writing a book about how I survived.  Or writing a podcast episode to encourage anyone who might come across it.  Or spending the afternoon with someone who needed to be encouraged by my story.

If I’m up all night now, it’s cause I’m keeping someone else in the fight.  My wound doesn’t keep me up.  But my weapon might.  And that’s what it’s there for.  That’s why I have it.  That how it pays me back for what it tried to take from me.

Someone has a wound today that is on its way to becoming a weapon of mass destruction.  You can’t even imagine what your story is going to do for people.  You don’t have any idea what doubt, fear, insecurity, and bondage it is going to demolish in someone else’s life.

You don’t see it, but it’s coming.  That’s a message for every unhealed wound listening today.  Your days of destruction are numbered.  And you’re gonna have to pay back what you tried to steal.

Many people today, you are carrying the shame of what you’ve been through, where it took you, how you felt, what you thought, how you acted… I get that.  I’ve been there too.

And as encouraging and uplifting as it is to hear someone’s survival story, before the motivation and hope kicks in, we can sometimes hear a little voice that says, “you loser, why have you been carrying this so long?  You are so behind the ball in any possible healing.  You shoulda been way further by now, than you are.  Look at all the healing this person with the testimony has.  You are way behind”.

Listen, I want to tell you that I’ve heard that in my head 100 times.  But I’ve come to respond like this…

I may not be the first to heal, but I’m not looking for first.  I’m looking for last… as in, the last one standing.

I will not be defeated.

I would also like to aim to be the last person to experience some of these things.  In my generation.  In my family.  In my community.  In my world of influence.

Don’t come at me about timing.  I may not have been the first to experience and the first to heal.  But my goal here is to be the last one standing, after this experience, and the last one to have go through it the way I did.

And at the very least, the last one to go through it alone, not knowing how possible it is to survive and heal and have a good life.

At our counselling office, when people do an intake and briefly explain their reason for seeking services, that’s looked at before passing them to a counsellor.  Because everyone is us counsellors have a story too.  We have had many experiences that we have had to deal with and heal from.  We all have a testimony.  Clients and counsellors are matched up by best match scenarios.  Not first come first serve.

It’s why we work altogether when creating programming.  Because we need each other’s perspectives, experiences, and wisdom.  We need what each other has been through to build the best, well-rounded content to aid in people’s healing journeys.  It’s the best thing we can do for our clients.

And I am so excited to tell you that we are entering a new season for our Life’s Seasons Speaks podcast.

You know that when we started, we had Jenny with us.  Nothing happened between Jenny and I. Jenny didn’t want to take a break from the podcast.  But Jenny knows that saying NO to something is sometimes needed, even when it’s not wanted.  She’s a busy busy woman and mama.  Sometimes after she tells me about her weekend, I have a nap.  An empathy nap. Lol.  Just kidding.

But we do know that different seasons require different priorities from us.  But here we go into a new one.  Jenny is more available.  She’s gonna be scheduled in with her own weeks.  On a regular basis. YAY!  All you black and white thinkers, crazy researchers, verbal processors… ya, your girl, Jenny’s back.   

And remember a number of episodes with my brother, Chris?  He just finished his 4th year of post-secondary education.  4th year in a row.  4 years of classes, tests, papers, co-op placements, and working all at the same time.  But he’s finally done now.  So, I figured he now had time to have his own regularly scheduled week.  And he said NO.  But, being his sister, I went ahead and forwarded the schedule to him, highlighting his weeks.  So, I think I may have defeated him into reconciling with this new adventure.

And, y’all know and love Pastor Uncle Bob already.  Who has for a long time now, done our Soul Soothing Sunday episodes.  And he is still going to be soothing our souls.

The schedule will just follow an order, week by week.  Next week, you’ll hear from Jenny.  The week after, you’ll hear from Chris.  The week after, you’ll be tuning in to sooth your soul with Bob… and then the rotation starts all over again with me.

I’m so grateful for this coming season that has allowed Jenny and Chris to join Uncle Bob and I again.  And today, we talked about one of the most important reason why.

Cause I can share my experiences, and my perspectives that were born from a lot of those experiences.  But I can only ever offer mine.  And there are people out there who deserve to heal because they got a chance to hear the very testimony or perspective that only Jenny could offer.  Or only Chris could explain.

I’ve been through a lot of things.  But I’ll never understand what all comes with being adopted.  Or adopted from a developing nation.  Or the joy of giving birth and finally seeing someone who looks like me.  Jenny knows though.  She knows those things and many more, that I’ll never be able to speak into.

I’ve never known the magnitude of horror and pain of being in an accident where there was a fatality.  I don’t know those nightmares and flashbacks.  I don’t know that trauma.  I don’t know the reactions or feelings or thoughts that come with such an experience and give such perspective after the fact.  And that’s only one of the many stories Chris has within his testimony.

I have no idea what it takes to open my eyes every morning, knowing that one of my children are not here anymore.  I do not know what it’s like to bury a child and try to go forward, still being a parent and still having to make a good life for my spouse and my other kids.  But Bob knows what that is.  Bob has a testimony that unfortunately, other parents need to be able to hear and relate to and find some kind of hope in, to keep going themselves.  And I can’t offer that.

Jenny and Chris and Bob have such unique testimonies that would be a shame to be left unheard.  The healing that can happen by what they have to share is too important.  Someone specifically needs to hear from each of them.

I’m so grateful that we are moving into this new space of widening the net of who we can possibly impact.

This is going to be amazing.  You’re going to be blessed by what they have to share, AND you get a break from me in between.  You’re welcome.

Honestly, thank you for being devoted to us and our mission to try and reach all we can with a message that says, “you matter.  Your story matters.  Your healing is possible.  And we know that.  Because we’ve healed within our stories too”.

Next week you’re going to hear from Jenny.  The week after is Chris, and then Bob and Then I’ll be back the week after Bob.  Be blessed by each story.  May you find your hope and healing along the way, as we walk this thing called life together.

Until we meet again, this is Tina saying good-bye for now… and we’ll speak again soon.